To say life here in Korea has been difficult is an understatement. Confusion is a frequent visitor as I try and figure out what is appropriate and inappropriate actions in the highly alien world. Yesterday this conflict brought me to seek Love as never before. This effort to seek Love had to come from myself and ultimately to myself first; for how can I love others if I do not love myself.
The paradox of my efforts to know Perfect Love compelled me to Love myself to the ever so fine edge of being sure that I could Love the Spirit within me greater than I love my own physical need for basics of daily bread. It was a very fine distinction to make a decision to fore go eating my daily meals in an effort to Love the Spirit that give me that which I can't give myself, like breathe. I figured I ate well enough the day before and decided to make a greater effort to stop looking outside myself to others in this world for love and simply direct it first to being sure that I could touch the Perfect Love that gives me the breathe of life.
Amazing, truly amazing! I opened my eyes this day to a peace, clarity of mind and a physical sense of well being that I have not known since before my mountain climbing accident in Alaska in 1995. Thirteen years is a long time to wait for difficulties in life to become so intense as to compel me to find that very fine yet unseen divide between the indwelling Spirit of Love and ephemeral love out side The spirit in this world is frequently filled with disappointment. It was a time where my physical needs were put "on hold", in order to gain the certainty of contact with Prefect Love.
Having given up a little of what I can never keep (food) for a time has gained me a gift of Love, Peace and Clarity I can never lose. I believe we can all agree there is no greater Love that that which is seen in a person willing to die in an effort to save someone in trouble. Yet there is a step beyond, if you can imagine. How about a person motivated by a Spirit of Love so great and amazing that they are willing to die to save some criminal sentenced to die by execution. It is this Love that I woke to on this morning.
What a Christmas gift to wake and find everything in your life brilliantly filled with this Love from one single solitary Life. I know there could be no greater Love than this kind of Love. My greatest desire in this life is to be some place where I can share this Love with others.
Korea is certainly a place where my English words mean nothing and all of what you want to communicate about this Love must be done in loving actions; it is a mission in life that I have never heard about and frequently doubt that what is happening could be right. However, the beginning moments of this day did not direct me to make immediate departure plans; a true mystery in comparison to the isolation of these days.
