Convergence

I first noticed something very unique about this journey during the last few hours in the tundra river. The day had been hot as is common during the arctic summers; with this heat comes locally isolated late afternoon thunder showers. I had noticed a stiffening breeze coming up the tundra river and turned around to see it was due to an up draft creating a huge towering thunder cell behind me to the north. As it grew the high altitude edges of the cloud began moving toward the sun to block it out before the down pour began. I thought, “What will I do if this down pour drenches all my gear making efforts at the convergence a greater challenge?” I prayed,”Oh my God! Don't let this storm come before I reach my destination.” As I paddled I found my nervousness was being translated into a frantic yet futile effort to move faster than the leading edge of the clouds which threatened to block the sun. The updraft creating the storm produced a breeze which blew against me and my kayak, making travel down stream a bit difficult; yet as I made my way down stream the sun continued to peek out from behind the clouds as the thunder cell behind me grew darker and more ominous.

I had to keep my attention on efforts to get to the convergence as fast as possible, fearing the down pour would force me to seek a camp area on lands that seemed accessible to people and cars. The prospects of camping on land where people can wander near by was not a comforting thought; bears are predictably fearful of humans yet humans are never safe to camp near unless you do so inside an armor plated Winnebago.

However, as long as I paddled, the clouds never completely blocked the sun allowing weather conditions to remain without rain as the thunder cell continued developing with showers falling on an area just up stream from my location which was just a few miles away to the south. I was so thankful to be riding on the lead edge of sunny weather which continued all the way to the convergence. If I had known how difficult dealing with the events at the convergence would be, an unexpected thunder storm would have compounded the difficulties of making the journey which included the danger of being the tallest thing on a flat body of water when lightening needs a point of ground contact.

Why mention again this little episode from an earlier part of this convergence story now? Most people would write this off as simply good fortune during a solo kayak trip. I write this now because my efforts to make a request regarding the weather was not just a self comforting response blurted into the sky over head; it was a request directed in a manner to address someone who had the ability to affect something I had no power to change; most readers would consider the fact that my request was granted at that moment to be simple “luck.” I write this here now because it was the first of many unusual and inexplicable events regarding forces far beyond my control which opened the door to many mysterious things that happened on this journey where two rivers meet in a convergence. As a physicist, it is only natural to look for patterns in what would otherwise be meaningless events. It doesn't take a statistician to understand that one reaction connected with powers beyond human control associated with personal action is easy to write off as pure luck; but when one encounters many reactions which have a correlation to personal actions, a change in paradigms is prudent. "Luck" is a simplistic paradigm associated with random events but when events no longer display association with what is random, haphazard or arbitrary, science dictates a search for the reason to explain a causal connection.

I was very thankful for the warm sunshine so late at night, so I went down to my kayak to get my gear that remained inside the rear storage compartment. It was at this time that shock came over me; I unzipped the back gear storage compartment behind the cockpit and saw clothing and camping gear floating in water; I failed to take in to consideration the consequences associated with one of the terrible events that had occurred just after my initial entry into the convergence; the event which I speak of was the moment I stepped into water I thought was only a few inches deep to find it was over my head causing me to instinctively grabbed the side of my kayak causing it to capsize with water rushing in to quickly cause it to begin sinking. Immediately after capsizing while standing waist deep in the murky current, I pumped out most of the water with an emergency hand pump. However, the pump was designed as a way to evacuate the majority of water quickly but to completely remove all water required the use of large supplemental sponges (which I have never needed and thus failed to bring) in order to soak up the remaining water at the very bottom of the kayak.

With the sun occasionally obscured by clouds in the late evening sky, I reached for the next larger vinyl sack which contained my winter sleeping bag. It was tough to get out and I pulled hard on the bag trying to carefully lift it with my hand under the bottom and not rip the plastic open. The vinyl sack with my winter sleeping bag had been sitting in the two inch deep water that had collected in the rear of the kayak. My heart was completely filled with stress, as I stood in the muddy sand next to the kayak and river where I finally lifted out the sack containing my winter sleeping bag . I carefully opened the vinyl sack and there inside was my winter sleeping bag which I immediately pulled out right there by the kayak and river; as I pulled it out of the vinyl sack, I discovered that it was completely dry without a drop of water on it. With joy I shouted, “Thank You!” which echoed back as I rushed up the bank of the river and carefully laid it across a lateral willow branch to let it air out, keeping it far from any water to avoid an accidental slip into the river.

Then I reached for my tent that was lying in the water at the bottom of my kayak storage space; the end was tied to keep the tent bag closed but the opening had been too close to the water line and some water had got in; I wasn't too worried about this as tents dry very quickly. I brought the tent ashore and spread the parts out in the area that had been lit by the sunlight, then I went to look for the duffel bag; this was the same bag which earlier had been hanging lopsided off the back of the kayak impeding its maneuverability as I was chest deep in the river current stepping on submerged trees just before entering the south side rapid current; this duffel bag had been part of the jettisoned gear tossed up on a higher eroding shore line. The duffel bag had slid off into the waters as the kayak had tipped during the incident involving the scramble to survive in deep water where I plunged over my head several times trying to walk on what was once a vertical forest.

After unpacking all my gear, I paused to reflect upon the events that brought me to this tiny island between two rivers with very powerful currents. In the peace I began to realize something very unusual about everything that brought me to where I was; the escape from the lead edge of a summer down pour, surviving a glacial river capsize, throwing my extra gear ashore on a near by shore line too high to reach which later happened to be on the same land mass where a camp area was discovered, being swept down a second river where my kayak bow was able to touch a sandy shore line providing a point of landing, having my most essential gear survive capsize that filled my kayak with water, looking for a place to camp in my exhaustion to have the sun come out and light up a small clearing by the river edge; simply to be alive and in a place where death would have been certain if it had not been for the correlation of many unusual events.

As I mentioned earlier, the correlation of many natural reactions to my actions if called "luck" would be like my saying I won the lottery ten times in a roll. However, during this journey there had been many times I could have died but unexpected reactions in nature occurred in response to my actions. Some of these were winding up in a natural situation like being caught in deep currents several feet deep and having to walk on unseen submerged trees to stay alive. You would have to try an picture yourself in such a situation where you are chest deep in cold muddy water that is pushing against you at a speed of twelve miles per hour; while you are in this water you have to feel with you feet without losing your balance which would cause you to be swept down stream. Now, while you are doing this you have to use one hand to hold the rope to the kayak that has all your equipment to survive if you find land allowing an escape from the watery trap. There you are in deep cold water up to your chest, using both feet trying to feel your way along a submerged forest you can't see under your feet; not being able to use your feet to totally support yourself because you have to use them to feel for an unseen forest beneath your feet. You can't use one had to support your body because you are holding a rope to the only equipment that will save your life if you ever get out of the rapid dark flowing current. So there you are, your are struggling in deep cold rapid glacial waters, making great efforts to not get washed down a river that leads to no where in the vast uninhabited wilderness in the arctic; with your other hand you are holding a small branch sticking out of the waters to keep your self steady when suddenly the branch breaks due to unexpected pressure you place on the branch trying to steady yourself and it snaps. At that moment your whole world vanishes as you step backwards in the heavy current to find nothing under foot but deep water; the cold icy water rapidly climbs up to your neck, then your ears and last of all your eyes look up to see the sky as all goes dark and you can't breathe. Your being pulled down deeper and deeper unable to get to the surface for air; your legs and body are being hit by submerged trees making it hard to hold your breath. My question is, what would you do?

I'm writing this story now after that event that was one of many, does that mean I'm lucky? Does this mean that I'm strong and smart? I don't think so. If I were strong and smart I wouldn't have wound up in a place where man nor beast won't go; a place that in all truth is the result of a geologic monster that eats mounts and turns them to sand and silt eating forests for dessert and on this occasion complaining to the Grand Cosmic Culinary Chef about finding a peace of human meat in his forest dessert. I can hear his voice now, "Ah my Wondrous Chef, I have enjoyed several valleys for my main course along with several hills sprinkled with boulders and now as I enjoy my dessert of luscious black spruce forests, I have come to find a speck of human meat floating amidst the branches; please remove this geologic gastronomic "fly in my soup." So the Great Awesome Architect of the Cosmos and Grand Cosmic Culinary Chef reaches down and simultaneously corrects the dietary needs of the Hungry Powerful Glaciers by removing me without disrupting His gentle protective Love. In the previous chapter I didn't take time to detail this event. So, after the details of this and other terrible events, does my survival after three days in the midst of a glacial flood plain sound like I'm simply a "lucky chap" or "skillful boats-man" a regular "Tundra Tarzan?" Or is this story easier to believe if I told you in a whisper, "I wasn't alone."

There on the little island I paused taking in the peace of knowing I was no longer in the glacial waters fighting for my life and reflecting on the above dark water incident once more. In the river I remember feeling so alone and helpless, but as the sun came out and warmed my back, that feeling of being alone vanished. Exhausted, I felt it was over, then feeling the warm sun made me turn toward the light to see an area of ground lit up just big enough for my tent. There was a deep peace with the soothing sound of the rivers waters flowing by. So many times in this original plan to simply go kayaking to locate a camp area for recreation, I had felt alone as I struggled to stay alive. As I stood in the warm sun light I didn't feel alone any more, as a matter of fact I also felt that I was not the only one on the island. Have you ever had that experience when you come home and just sense that someone else is in the house with you? That is how I felt as I paused in the sun light. I looked about but couldn't immediately see anyone, yet I felt like someone was watching me, not something but someone. I listened but all I heard was the river water at first. Then the light of the sun reflected off an area of the waters' surface that was calm and in the brilliance of the light I finally recognized who had followed me all the way but didn't disrupt what I thought was a solo adventure until I went went under and needed help in a place where I thought I was all alone.