Convergence |
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12 |
13 |
Thought From The Flow: It's near the end of August, almost 2 months after events began in the glacial river. I haven't finished the story yet but to be perfectly honest, all the I have experienced since leaving the island doesn't justify the reasons for leaving nor has anything I have experienced since leaving make events on the morning of the second day less wonderful; rather, all I have experienced since leaving the island only makes me feel regret for having left. I'm not sure how this story will end, but it may very well end with an unreported return to the convergence and the island of peace and mysterious wonders I had there; yes, I would dare to reenter the death trap of the glacial river rather than remain in the more hideous death trap of this world with all its false hopes and broken dreams. I will write what I can, to let readers know that there is something worth living for and I have not found it in churches, religions, and all the other glamor and flash of this grave yard of man's world. At this time I'm running to and fro looking into the eyes of children where the reflection of where I was on the morning of the second day can be seen. I will see them again along with a few others I met; I'm just in a hurry to make sure they know where I was in the convergence and as I tell them the story they all understand very quickly Who it was I met in that warm Light that came through the Door on that island. They will make it, those I have met and already see waiting there for me to return before the Door finally closes.
From deep sleep
the sound of my phone alarm clock woke me right at three
in the morning with the ambient sky light making my
tent walls glow with their usual golden color. I lay
quietly for a moment again listening for sound that
might give me a hint as to what kind of world would
greet me outside my tent on this third day. As I lay
in my warm sleeping bag, I noticed I still had peace
but it was qualitatively different than the experience
on the morning of the second day; on this morning of
the third day, I was aware of my body and the strength
it had. I was able to move my body freely once again.
Time was short as I thought about the job interview
I was suppose to make in eight hours; just thinking
of this goal and realizing where I was, made me understand
that strength or no strength, it was going to require
miracles to escape the currents, deep and shallow waters
that hid submerged trees and sand bars. I quickly moved
to unzip the screen door on my tent where I gazed out
on an overcast day without rain. Upon brief inspection
I noticed some items had dried like those made of synthetic
material but others were still damp like the summer
sleeping bag.
The weather conditions of the day spoke to me just
as the weather conditions that brought me there. Considering
the ways perfect Love arranged for there to be no rain
upon my arrival, which would have been the proverbial
“straw that broke the camels back” as rain
on my arrival would have caused everything to become
highly slippery which would have made all efforts to
hold to such things as the branches and my kayak rope
difficult; the fact that upon my arrival there was intermittent
sunshine creating conditions where surfaces were dry,
allowed for environmental conditions which defined a
very thin line permitting my survival when death was
so close many times. The rain on the second day was
the perfect weather condition compelling me to stay
inside and enter the depth of a peace and condition
of spirit or soul I have never before experienced in
this life. Everything had been in tune with a very powerful
all knowing Love, giving me a chance to fully enter
the warmth and safety of His loving embrace; how could
I leave such Love? As I looked out upon the grey overcast
day, I slowly realized once again that I could never
leave my Father’s powerful loving care and company;
as a matter of fact, if I ever hoped to make it out
of the convergence it would take a literal act of supernatural
power to free me from the hold that death has on me
as I attempted to re-enter the churning dark currents
that hid the waters depth, trees, rocks, currents and
direction of flow.
In the tent, getting dressed wasn’t difficult
and once complete the screen door was unzipped; as usual
it was easy to get up and out of a tent while keeping
it clean by making sure shoes where just outside the
front door under the rain fly. After opening the door
it was a simple matter to just lift my feet and one
by one slip them into the waiting camp shoes outside
the door. Once outside, a pot of water was quickly set
to boil so making cereal would be easy before trying
to leave. While the water was warming up, I went over
to my kayak now cleaned by yesterday’s rain and
flipped it up right to find that it was totally dry
inside. Gathering all items that were immediately nearby
to stow in the kayak’s rear storage compartment,
steam was seen rising from the pot on the stove. All
packing efforts stopped as a nourishing pan of hot oatmeal
was prepared on that very early overcast morning. In
the quiet before the most awesome Love in the universe,
expressing gratitude for the breakfast and yesterday’s
somewhat unusual beef stew which had given strength
to a body given as a gift so many years ago. Saying
that this river side breakfast time on the little island
was full of joy is difficult, because it is a kind of
last meal in many ways. There was no joy or celebration
no more than someone with a death sentence celebrated
his final day.
During the three days on the island, all of what I
believed about life had been changed making this morning’s
meal a somber event associated with a decision to leave
the island and delay the mystical warm embrace my Father
gave me as I entered the fullness of true life in His
presence. I’m sure this may be hard to understand,
but making a decision to try and leave the island would
surely require entering a death trap with full knowledge
of the risks and dangers associated with the attempt.
Here on this island I mysteriously entered the joy,
peace and Love of my Father in a world that has no end,
yet beyond the little island was a world devoid of life
being filled with many dangers; to knowingly enter this
dark world with its many hidden death traps would be
insane unless the motive to risk one’s life was
sufficiently valid.
Is there any place in nature where creatures act to
risk their life by entering the jaws of death? During
my time in Alaska I have witnessed this many times in
nature, most frequently witnessed when a weaker animal
violently tries to attack another creature’s off
spring as a duck will do for it’s ducklings when
a moose accidentally trods toward the nesting area.
In Korea I noticed this many times when a mother acts
to protect her child; but in the west I have actually
seen the reverse when a mother will act to become the
predator of her own child by killing her off spring
during the weakest most vulnerable point before her
child has even had a chance to take a breath; a world
where mothers and fathers can be seen frequently leaving
their children behind like unwanted strangers or even
attacking them and becoming the most formidable predator
in the child’s life. What compels me to risk my
physical life is the same natural instinct that compels
nature’s creatures to protect their offspring
but the unusual fact is, I’m a man and I have
never had children of my own. As a teacher, I am blessed
to have met more children than I could ever hope for.
In the East my life was pure joy as I worked in a world
where parents sacrifice everything for their children,
where society works together to insure each child's
success and safety.
My Father is not mocked, He gave me a very special
gift and with that gift an opportunity to enter into
His rest. He knows how hard the world in the west has
fought against His Love for His little children and
in so doing have cut every line that held me to their
world. I didn’t wind up on this island in a glacial
flood plain by accident but rather by special design
and invitation by He who creates and controls everything
on earth and in the worlds beyond. Only by a miracle
could the One who could possibly arrange everything
did so, and on this morning of the third day by providing
permission to return to the world I once knew I prepared
to enter the death trap around the island. I can say
that it was by permission and not what He had perfectly
planned; for His perfect plan was revealed on the morning
of the second day as He began the separation process.
If it had not been for a message on a cell phone, I’m
sure I would be home now. If it were possible to make
it out of the death trap, it would be a true miracle
because it was the watery grave of the convergence that
sought to take my life when I entered, and it would
be in the same watery grave that marked the passage
back to where I had a chance to prove the truth of my
Father’s all powerful Love and then finally return
to His Loving embrace.
Who needs proof of an all powerful Father of Light
and Love? Everyone in the world needs proof but that
proof was already given long ago and yet I find it so
amazing that on the third day a chance is given to rise
out of a watery grave to meet all those caught inside
the makeshift facade of a world designed to obfuscate
the dangers of a different convergence, one which few
escape from. Eating the hot breakfast in peace made
the weather seem just right as the warmth received made
the chill of the overcast day a welcome comfort.
After finishing my breakfast, my pan was once again
washed off in the convenient abrasive clay of the river
sand, rinsed off once again with what was now recognized
as an over abundance of fresh water that would have
to be haul from the island. How amazing everything fit
together; out of the dirt life was formed and now used
to make things clean by the washing of waters. The first
death came by water with a promise that it would never
happen again.
Step by step with systematic speed I rolled up my sleeping
bag and stowed my clothing once again in the double
wrapped vinyl bags. Unlike my original departure three
days before, I packed my gear in the kayak while it
was sitting on the dry sandy area near my tent rather
than trying to pack the kayak while it was floating
in water that was moving rapidly, unstable and surrounded
by mud and quicksand. Everything went much quicker with
packing for the attempted return than my original departure.
In a little less than an hour I had most of my gear
stowed away in the kayak. I turned to survey the camp
area for last items I needed to consider and found the
clothes line still tied up with the fresh water supply
still hanging from a tree branch. I took these down
and used the clothes line to secure the items to the
back of my kayak as I should have on the day I began;
I wasn’t going to take any chances with gear slipping
off the back of the kayak from one side or the other
to make a dangerous departure attempt fatal as it could
get snagged in tree branches making my effort to paddle
futile.
By the time things were set for departure, it was almost
four in the morning. I donned my cold wet dive suit
with a momentary shock, after which my body heat made
it feel warm and comfortable. One of the most difficult
tasks was before me and that was trying to lift a loaded
kayak from the surface of the island and get it into
the river. I first took the tow line and secured it
to a nearby tree stump. Knowing the critically and sensitivity
of the screws and rods that held my spine together,
I carefully lifted the stern of the kayak with rudder
in the stowed up position. Since the kayak was on the
island which was about three feet higher than the river’s
surface, I pulled the kayak off the island until like
a seesaw it teetered so the stern tipped down toward
the nearby river surface. I let go and the kayak stern
touched the river water. I began to pull more of the
kayak off the island and as I did the weight of the
kayak began to push the stern under water due to the
steep angle and weight. I had to walk out into the mud
and quicksand where I rapidly became mired but pulled
the kayak out far enough so it gained buoyancy at the
stern. My kayak was partly floating with the tip of
the bow still hanging on the island’s edge. I
went to move but couldn’t because I had sunk in
the quicksand too deeply. I had to stop and try and
get one foot free; after a while at the expense of causing
my other foot to sink deeper, I had freed one foot.
I placed the free foot on the solid sand on the shoreline
while holding the kayak and spent a while trying to
get my other foot out of the mud and quick sand. It
took time but I finally pulled my foot out of the quicksand
with a loud deep suction sound. I rinsed my feet off
in the muddy water and pulled the rest of my kayak off
the island’s raised shoreline; as the stern became
more buoyant the kayak gracefully slid out into the
river water where I steadied it next to the shoreline.
I check the kayak over carefully making sure all was
in place securely. The tow rope was still secured to
the island’s tree stump so I paused there on the
shore line to once again survey what lay before me.
As I had done so many time before I surveyed the river’s
surface over and over trying to find a place where the
current wasn’t so strong but there simply wasn’t
any area of calm waters. No matter how I plotted a course,
it would have to take me through an area of dangerous
currents that couldn’t be over come by paddling.
I looked across the river and there was one area with
fairly calm waters but the waters were made calm by
a huge tree stuck in the river bank which protruded
out into the river inhibiting part of the current flow;
the problem with heading for the calm waters was it
would place me behind a very large floating tree with
an enormous root system about eight feet wide and five
feet high at the end where the current was strongest
(top image of river with downed tree and root base);
it was a formidable obstacle blocking my path out. At
the end of the huge root system making up the bulk of
the barrier was the river water with churning waves
that betrayed powerful currents. No matter how I looked
at it, there was no way to get through, no way to avoid
the forces that took me down so many times on the day
I arrived. Then it dawned on me; I was so focused on
what my eyes could see and I had forgotten so soon the
far more powerful unseen world which my Father had full
control of, a world He brought me into on the morning
of the second day. Now came the question; was what happened
to me on the island all an illusion created from my
exhaustion and dehydration? Events that happened like
the timing of the sunshine which came out revealing
an heretofore unseen area for my camp site, or the sudden
brilliant sunlight that just happened to come out when
my need of warmth was the greatest as I was taking a
river bath, or the most awesome of all when I experienced
separation from a pain fill body; were all these a fluke
or truly an act of an all Loving Father who watches
over me and helps me?
As it was so many years ago when the Mafia threatened
me and I called out to Him for help, or the time I ran
out of water in the desert while walking across the
United States on foot and cried out for water, or the
many times on the highways of the US and Canada when
I needed help or food to find that truck drivers and
non-church people helped me so kindly but all but one
“Christian” left me out of the highway thumping
their Bibles and telling me “God bless you and
be filled”, was this time any different? Could
I depend upon the Love that held me so close for three
days in a death trap to see me back to a world truly
caught in death? As so many times before, I had nothing
to lose by simply asking for help to get out, and that
I did. I paused and expressed my fear and frustration
with being faced with the world of death traps again
and my personal weakness, fears and doubts asking my
Father to help me find a way to escape. I made and continued
to make my request which grew more intense while stepping
into my kayak making sure all seating was secure with
the all essential paddle leash that locked my paddle
to my kayak.. I pull the cord that released the stowed
rudder and it flipped down and into the murky waters.
I paused one more time as if waiting for some kind of
indication I should go but no words or magic flag appeared.
Looking at the waves of the current and the deceptive
calm beyond, I pushed off from shore and began paddling
as fast as possible, where soon the bow of my kayak
hit the powerful current suddenly being swept down stream,
only this time there was no fear and it seemed that
it was just perfect that I be swept down stream. I continued
to paddle through the current finding I had been swept
down stream several hundred feet as I entered the calm
waters on the far side of the river. Once I was in the
calm waters I found that I could easily paddle back
up the river, but now I was on the other side of the
rapid current. I was also behind the huge tree that
blocked the river holding the most powerful part of
the current as it swept by the end of its root system
in the deeps of the current.
I paused in the calm waters looking at the heavy current
sweeping by the partially submerged root system and
backed down the river a short ways. I turned my kayak
bow toward the end of the root system where the strongest
current rapidly flowed by and began to paddle with all
my might. In the calm waters I gained speed as I paddled
then suddenly I hit the current as I continued to paddle.
I kept the bow straight into the current and kept paddling
as my kayak slowly went by the root system and after
a time it was finally behind me. I was right in the
midst of the strongest current paddling with all my
might becoming exhausted and losing forward momentum;
I hit my rudder to shift the bow to the right out of
the current into the slower on coming waters in front
of the submerged tree I had just passed. I was out!
I continued to paddle as hard as I could where my kayak
entered the broad expanse of waters that made up what
looked like an ocean. I was exhausted and stopped paddling
for a moment. All seemed peaceful with the familiar
debris of floating bits of wood and bark everywhere.
I thought I was in a motionless lake but as I looked
at the distant shoreline I noticed it was moving slowly
eastward which meant I was being carried on unseen currents
westward. The momentary rest was over; I needed to keep
paddling toward the east until I could figure out where
I was and how to find the tundra river at the convergence.
Like being in the midst of a vast ocean of muddy debris
filled waters I had only the position of the sun and
flow of the waters for hints as to which way to go.
I was lost and I had been lost when I was in the desert,
when I was on highways, when I was in the big cities
of Korea, when I skied into the wilderness at night
but each time I asked my Father for help, I felt as
it were a very subtle tug or pull defined by a direction
to go that was less difficult than other ways. I was
now looking for that One Way that I should follow and
it became apparent in a mysterious flow in the waters.
I followed the giant pull of the waters current when
in the distance I saw mysterious white object rise out
of the waters to the north. I had no idea what it was
or where it came from. How did this elongated white
object appear on the waters in the distance? What was
the purpose and meaning of this very vivid shape that
suddenly appeared?
Continued in Chapter 12
I write these words exactly two months after returning from the island and I have had plenty of time to see exactly where I am in the convergence of this world. In the next part of the story the journey hasn’t ended. Now it is time to carefully consider what Perfect Love would do. My Father remains with me and I with Him. I search for those who know my Father and I have met some who know the wonderful Father of Heaven and Earth whose Love is so amazing and powerful; yet to this day most who know Him are the weakest most humble members of society and many they be who have been hurt by the ones who brought them to this world and even by those who claim to be educators for their future whose fained care is motivated by monetary greed. The Door remains open but time grows short. The geese are migrating south before the deep freeze that will transform the river ways with their peace or violent darkness all into solid silent savannas of softly sifting silent snow; the question remains, “Which Way shall I go?” Should I remain in a body that has been run over by a car, taken from Korea and its healthy nurturing environment where children are loved so much? Should I remain in this western world where children spend more time being abused and prematurely forced out of childhood and the efforts of a single teacher is so tiny in their day to day experience? Should I remain whereforces found in the deeps of the convergence work their way in a through the very system that controls my time with children? As I tell this story to the children I teach, I tell them that I haven’t finish writing it yet because the last few chapters will be written by them. My story isn’t finished yet because I must ask the children how they think the story should end? Should it end with sadly seeing them so infrequently for a few hours in one year, or simply go back to the island where the indescribably wonderful warmth and Love of my Celestial Father waits for me? The children will write the happy ending to this story in the last chapters of thirteen and fourteen.
∞
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