The above image was taken on July 11, 2016 just 3 miles up stream from the Chena River confluence. The Tanana was a bit fuller than my previous trip on June 24 and just covered a treacherous sand bar about a quarter mile ahead of me; I hit the sand bar and thought I would flip but was able to get free without bending my rudder. However, death was still out there and I got foolishly entangled in a log jam at the front of Wenrich Island before the Chena. I couldn't see a submerged log which I broadsided catching the full brunt of the river flow which quickly flipped my kayak. Instinctively I chocked it up to life exit, let go of struggling, and didn't fight, went under the silt filled flow but slipped out of the kayak and surfaced on top of the hull. Miraculously, as I tried to float, my feet touched bottom so I stood chest deep, righted my kayak and fetched my hand bilge pump, going to work pumping water out. It took a half hour to get the kayak emptied enough to try and get back in to paddle. During the whole ordeal I lost only my hat and a water jug, but my cell phone survived in a water tight bag along with more than two hundred pounds of camp gear and fresh water.
There is a special reason I'm out on this less than tourist friendly river, and it has to do with something mysterious that happened to me six years before which has been the most inexplicable event of my life. Not wanting to chalk it up to mental exhaustion or delirium, I have been trying to get back to what happened. This year is the first year I have laid hold of the fact that what happened to me is TRUE and actually part of normal life cycles for any creature that lives within nature's sphere of influence; unfortunately mankind having made an artificial technologically modified womb within which to live and work has become separated from the wonder of true life connected to nature.
I've speculated on the reason we don't see any old grey, decrepit moose, birds or fox lurking around; where are all the senior citizens of the animal world, are they just hiding or does nature have a way of keeping life in an expression of youth strength and beauty? As I've found, nature regulates things so that life is kept in its full healthy strong expression; so once an animal fulfills it's reproductive purpose of being in the physical world, it only remains long enough to insure its off spring survival but after and well before old age can set in, exits its physical body before becoming old. Life as nature meant it, is eternal and finds its expression in a lovely ebb and flow of life going in and out of physical form.
Sadly, mankind lives in fear of death, with everything in human society geared to stave off death, as if it were the ultimate evil. Nature on the other hand incorporates death into the life equation as simply as we incorporates sleep as a natural part of healthy life; a process of renewal, releasing the deleterious effects of exhaustion accumulated during waking hours. The sleep-waking cycle is simply a mirror of nature's larger cycle of waking (life) and sleeping (death), which releases the deleterious effects of being in a physical form. Ever notice how one looks and feels after not sleeping a few days? Now consider how this habit would look when one fights to avoid death; perhaps the many cases of old age diseases and the unthinkable number of warm bodies in hospitals for the terminally ill will suffice to explain.
What mankind has lost sight of is the fact that life's expression in each person emanates from One eternal source as expressed in the Laws of Physics. We, each of us, like each animal in nature is no different than a stained glass window in a church in that the beauty of the church window only has expression when the sun shines through the window. Every night the window goes dark when the sun goes down; the only thing that makes the stained glass window beautiful is the sunlight that shines through. Old age is the effect of dust and garbage collecting on the window to obfuscate the flow of pure sun light. In nature, animals let go of their window just before the sun light becomes obstructed by the dirt in life; the window is dissolved, then reconstructed anew to let the sun shine continue to shine back into the world. Who each animal is just as who each human is can only be seen as the pure eternal light of the sun shining through a stained glass window; we are NOT the window but truly the light of the sun that shines through the window. As long as we hold to the idea that we are our bodies, we lock ourselves into the pathetic accumulation of filth on the window, obstructing sun light and its expression of life.
At this point I am making a choice to remain in physical form only because I "think" there may be a way to help others see that holding on to a decaying form isn't enjoyable, beautiful or natural. I know it's possible to assist others out of the sad path of degeneration into the simple natural life expressed in nature. At one point in life I met some people caught in a hospital for the terminally ill; some begged me to help them get out of the horrible hospital so they could die naturally, but the sad thing was there were medical staff of the hospital who were profiting financially from prolonging hopes of recovery for family members who put their aging sick parents in the hospital. I saw patients who were completely brain dead, no hope of returning to life whose bodies were being kept warm by mechanical means only to keep cash flowing into the pockets of twisted medical people, people whose only skill lay in the ability to deceive family members into a false hope, just to get money. Now many years later, it's easy to see that humanity is not far different than the hospital for the terminally ill where I met a few who desperately wanted help getting out....not that they had proof that something better lay ahead, but simply because they had reached the place where life as the world had set it before them was so appalling that it no longer mattered what lay ahead, even the prospect of eternal oblivion with no existence was preferable to them than continuing any longer in the horror of extended degeneration. Even the prospects of a hell of some kind become preferable as an exit from the greater hell of the hospital.
I write this perhaps to prove to myself that holding on any longer is an exercise in futility or to discover that it is possible to convey some sunlight through my increasingly obscure stained glass before it all falls back to the sand from which it came. I’ve been to the edge now two times and tasted of the beauty, peace and freshness that awaits when I make an effort to lay my body down. I now remain only by choice and not from fear of death. Like the people caught in a hospital for the terminally ill. I may find that most people some how believe that a hope of some kind exists in the increasingly dark world they hold to. Like the hospital, those in control seek to profit from the pathetic efforts of people who buy into the manufactured lie that their world retains some form of hidden hope.
The most frightening thing one can experience is to discover they have missed nature's uptake by waiting so long that they lose the strength to get out to reach that departure point; death then becomes the helpless experience of a soul hanging on to the hope of what was meant to be obtainable during the sunset hours of their strength. Truly, that soul doesn't receive the same beautiful uptake as the more sensitive soul who goes out in strength to obtain entry to the world where all of Nature's creatures gracefully move on to the light of a new day.
Some will ask, "Where is religion?" "Is this some kind of new religion?" or "What does God have to do with this story?" All religions are expressions in human language meant to guide adherents to higher levels of being. This is placed here is an entry to the "Gospel" according to Nature's Grace. No matter what religion or science one ascribes to, its truths will either be supported or destroyed by one's entry into Nature's Realm of Testing.
This writing becomes my "fleece" where by I can determine whether or not I should remain or whether I should pack my gear and move back out to where the spiritual levitation of Nature's uptake provides a graceful life filled breeze bearing any creature past reproductive days off to rest and life eternal.